Bloopers: Vengeance

Cut Scenes
Vengeance

#1.
Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter what you wear to the Ceremony. The Boosti aren't gonna care.
Armond: But they're joining the Federation! Everything has to be perfect!
Elly(laughs): Joining the Federation? They're not joining the Federation! Hahahaha!
(Armond and Kayl glance at eachother)
Elly(stops): --Oops. You weren't supposed to know that, were you?
Kayl: What do you mean 'they're not really joining'?
Elly(looks around in case anyone else is listening): Look, all I can tell you, is to watch your back. These Boosti don't know that we know.
(Armond and Kayl glance at eachother again)
Armond: Don't know what?
Elly: Don't know that we know about thier--
*Kugo: --Lieutenant Kugo to Elly.
Elly(taps her commbadge): Elly here.
*Kugo: Report to Torpedo Bay 2. We're losing containment!
(Elly runs down the hallway and enters the Torpedo Bay. Armond and Kayl run after. Inside the Torpedo Bay are rows of torpedo capsules labelled, Slipstream Torpedo)

#2.
Armond(looks at sensors): Commander, I'm detecting a tiny transwarp deterioration trail off the port bow.
Gotens: Really? We'd better investigate. Armond, set a course and engage.
Armond: I'm not the helmsman! Red is!
Gotens: Fine. If you're too lazy to do anything, we'll get Red to do it.
Red(shrugs): Okay.
(The Phoenix-X turns left)
Gotens: On screen.
Armond: I getting Conduit interference.
Kayl: Compensating…
(The screen distorts and then clears; showing the dead body of a man, floating in space.)
Armond(scans him): He's been dead there for 14 years.
Gotens: Why would a transwarp trail lead from him?

#3.
Yeltso(working): Armond, if you hadn't accessed internal ship controls from in there, the power in that room wouldn't have gone out and you wouldn't be stuck in there in the dark!!
*Armond: I'm sorry! I don't know anything about internal ship controls! I'm an external controler!
(She bypasses an algorhythm and the door's holding pressure is realeased. Yeltso opens them with her bare hands)
Armond(runs out into her arms): Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!
Yeltso(checks his back): You see? There's nothing on your back.
Armond: There's something in there!
Gewdeque(takes out her triquarter): I'm not getting any other life signs. There's nothing in there.
Armond(stands up straight): Oh? Nothing, eh? Well then what's this!?
(He turns around to reveal his back)
Yeltso: Commander, I already told you, there's nothing on your back.
Armond(faces them again): Oh yeah.... Well then there must be something in there!
Gewdeque: There's nothing.
Armond: Oh yeah? Well then what's this!?
(He shows his back again)
Gewdeque: Come on, Yeltso, let's go.
Yeltso: Okay.
(They leave)
Armond(jumps up and down): Get it off! Get it off!!

(The Phoenix-X flies through space, following some trail of orange gas.)

(Kayl, Red, Shane and some other people are on the Bridge. Armond enters)
Shane(points at him): Aaahahahahahaa!!!
Armond: Shut up!
Shane(still laughs): What the heck were you doing in there?
Armond: There's information on the Storage's computer that I need to verify these readings I'm getting.
Shane: Well did you get the information?
Armond: Yes I did, and I have confirmed that this is a trail of subatomic Calazine!! Aaahh!!!
(Pause)
Shane: What the heck is Calazine?
Armond: Only the worst most deadliest space monster waste ever to come from the ass of a space monster!
Shane: Eeuu. That's what this orange stuff is that we're following?
(Gotens walks by and stops and looks at Armond's sensor readings)
Gotens: This trail isn't space monster poo, it's Transwarp Plasma!
Armond(stands between Gotens and his control panel): No it's not. You're in denial!
Gotens(escorts Armond towards the turbolift): Look Armond, why don't you get some rest? You've had a rough day.
Armond(gets on the lift): I'm not crazy! I'm not!
Gotens(agrees with whatever he says): Okay, you're not.
Armond: I shot the sheriff! But I didn't shoot the deputy!
Gotens: Yes, okay...
(The doors close)

#4.
Armond(at Station 1): Well, it's a little late now. Pirate Army 1has penitrated our shields and have invaded Vector 1, Deck 12.
Daniel: Oh so it's war they want, eh? Armond! Set up force fields at every door and turbolift on all 35 Decks.
Walace(at Station 3): Two Pirate Army's beamed onto Decks 25 through 35, which is all of Vector 3! They have access to our Cloaking Device, on Deck 28 and our Weapons Storage on Deck 30.
Daniel: Send Klingon Security Team Beta to take back Deck 30, and Federation Security Team Alpha to protect the Cloaking Device.
Armond: Done.
(The ship shakes)
Kayl(at Station 2): Shields are gone on Decks 14, 17 and 20 and they beamed in. They have control of Vector 2 Battle Bridge, Smithsonian and Main Engineering.
Daniel: Send a Klingon team to Smithsonian and Vector 2 Battle Bridge.
Walace: Captian, we've taken back Deck 30, Weapon's Storage. But they've dismantled the Cloaking Device and are lifting it somewhere along Deck 28. We can't see them because it's activated.
Daniel: Send another Klingon team to Deck 28.
Gotens: Sir, we only have two Klingon teams and three Federation teams.
Red: Vector 3 Battle Bridge is powering up and a Vector separation is proceeding. ...It's separated.
Daniel: What teams are on Vector 3?
Walace: Klingon Beta and Federation Alpha. But Federation Alpha has been knocked out.
Armond: The Pirates are taking over Deck 13, which has Torpedo Bay 1.
Daniel: Okay forget Vector 3. Send Federation Gamma to Main Engineering, and Federation Thada to Torpedo Bay 1.
Gotens: There are five Pirate Army's. 1 on Vector 1, 2 on Vector 2 and 2 on Vector 3.
Kayl: We've knocked out Army 3 and 4 and have taken back Vector 2.

#5.
Star Trek: Phoenix-X - "The Manacle"

Armond: AAAAAAAAaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
*Kayl: Okay, calm down--
Armond: I can't see anything!!
(Armond gropes around)
Armond: Aaaahh!!!!
*Kayl: What? What is it now?
Armond: There's something on my back!!! It's big!!

(Kayl sits in her chair at her Ship's Operation Work Station on the Bridge)
Kayl(taps her commbadge): Goddamn it, Yeltso, can we hurry it up?
*Yeltso: Mam', with all due respect, Armond's just over reacting.
Kayl: Well just get him out of there before he goes into shock.

Yeltso(taps her commbadge): Yes, Mam'.
(The door to Storage Area 2 is jammed as Yeltso and Gewdeque work on the control panel to try to get it open)
*Armond(yells with an echo from inside Storage Area 2): Hurry up!!!
(Yeltso bypasses an algorhythm, releasing the holding pressure of the door and opens it manually. Armond comes running out)
Gewdeque: Are you alright, sir? You cut off all the power to the Storage Area.
Armond(breathing heavily): ...Man, I should've been messing around with those controls...
(Yeltso's triquarter makes a beeping noise as she scans the area)
Yeltso: There's nothing in there, sir.
Armond(looks up at her): What do you mean, 'nothing'?
Yeltso: Nothing.

(The Phoenix-X rumbles from passing through some spacial disturbance. On the Bridge, Armond's sensor's beep)
Armond: Sir, I'm picking up a strange reading.
Gotens: ...Strange like an abnormality in space, or strange like a black japanese?
Armond: Uhhh... the first one.
Gotens: That is strange...
Armond: I'm picking up a small variation of a Transwarp Conduit. It leads into the next Sector.
Gotens: Red, follow it.
Red(changes course): Aye.
(The Phoenix-X follows aside the unknown transwarp conduit as it static's in and out of normal space)
Red: We've reached the end.
Armond: I see something.
Gotens: On screen.
Armond: I'm getting Conduit interference.
Kayl: Compensating…
(The screen distorts and then clears; showing the dead body of a man, floating in space.)
Armond: Oh my gosh, he almost seems Human. What do you think did that?
Gotens: I dunno. Beam him into Sickbay.

(Doctor Lox does an autopsy on the body, in Sickbay)
Kugo: Doctor, are you sure that's necessary?
Lox(cuts the stomach open): I detected a strange chemical in his system. I need to exract a sample.
(Armond enters Sickbay)
Armond: You needed me?
Kugo: Yes, look at this.
(On the forearm of the dead man is a computer mechanical device. Kugo accesses its controls)
Kugo: Does this look like a scanning system to you?
Armond(takes a closer look): Yeah...
Kugo(points to the medical tool table): Can you get that Amputative Laser?
Armond(gets it): What do you want me to do with this?
Kugo: The device seems to have merged biologically with this man's arm. I need to to cut his arm off. ...Unless you are too scared.
Armond(shurgs): Nope.
(He cuts the arm off with no problem)
Kugo(gives Armond the arm): I do not understand. You are afriad of the dark, but you are not afriad of cutting someone's arm off? --Hold it up please.
Armond(holds the device and lets the arm hang): Well this guy's dead. He can't hurt me.
(Kugo takes out her phaser, fires, and vapourizes the arm; leaving the mechanical deivce that was wrapped around it)
Kugo: I see.
Armond(pats the device with confidence): Nope. There's absolutely nothing harmful about this mysterious unkown computer wrist thingy, that came from a dead man, at all.
(The device is activated and makes a beeping noise. An electrical force shoots out and grabs Armond's forearm. It breaks itself apart and reallocates around Armond's forearm)
Armond: Aaahhhh!!!! Get it off! Get it off!!
Kugo(takes a triquarter reading): Its grafted itself onto you!
Armond: I can see that!
Kugo: I can't get it off! It's already started merging into your biological system!
Armond: Aaahh!! Tell it to stop!!
Kugo(yells at it): Stop!!
Armond: It didn't work!! Aahhh!!
Kugo(takes out her phaser): I know how to get it off.
Armond(takes the phaser away from her): No don't!!
Kugo(wines): Oh come on.
(Armond stops panicing and examines the device on his right forearm. He starts tapping on the buttons)
Armond: If I accesses its systems, I might be able to find the Off command.

(A scaly alien creature, hidden, asleep, in a dark cavern is suddenly awakened.)
Creature: Hisssss....
(He walks out into the light and looks at a similar device on his forearm. It beeps)
Creature: ....

(Gotens enters the Captian's Ready Room. It's dark)
Gotens: Captian?
Daniel(turns around in his chair to face him): Fear, Commander. What is it? How does it control us?
Gotens(shrugs): I dunno. Why do you wanna know?
Daniel(pulls out a piece of paper): It's one of the questions on this Q Credit Card application. Can you believe that you have to have a credit history to get on some plain's of existence nowadays?
*Lox(on the comm): Lox to Gotens.
Gotens(taps his commbadge): I'm here.
*Lox: I found a wierd chemical inbalance in the body. It seems it came from the Manacle.
Gotens: The "Manacle"?
*Lox: Yeah, it's what we're calling the device.
Gotens: Well why can't you call it the "Device"?
*Lox: Because one of our other devices already has that name.
Daniel(takes out his wallet): Oh man. They want an address for my home existence.
*Lox: It's the chemical, sir; the one I found in the dead body; it was morphing him.
Gotens: Where's Armond?

(Armond suddenly wakes up from a bad dream.)
Armond: Computer, lights.
(The lights go on in his Quarters. He still has the Manacle on his forearm)
Armond: I've gotta get this off.
(He suddenly hears a hissing sound. He looks up and a tall scaly creature uncloaks on his cieling)
Creature: Give me back!!
Armond: Aaahhh!!!
(He gets up but the Creature drops from the cieling and tackles him)
Armond(breaks free): Aaahh!!!!
(He runs out of his quarters and down the hallway pushing past people. The Manacle powers up, opening a hole in front of Armond that he runs into. The hole disappears and Armond is gone. The people in the hallway are confused)

(The Senior Staff rallys in the Conference Room)
Gotens: Where did he go?
Daniel: I know where he went! Another existence!
(He shakes his two fingers and disappears. Then he suddenly flashes back with two Q Security Officers)
Q1: Come back when you have a proper credit history.
(They disappear)
Daniel: If anybody needs me, I'll be in my Ready Room planning my revenge for that man.
(He walks away)
Kugo: I examined my scans for the Manacle. The technology of it is very similar to our Transwarp Engines. It is like a miniature Transwarp Drive.
Kayl: That would explain the small Transwarp Conduit I detected on Deck 15 when Armond disappeared.
Gotens: Are you saying Armond escaped on Transwarp?
Kugo: It is the only logical explanation.
Red: A Transwarp Drive small enough to fit on your wrist? The technology for that cannot be possibly available.
Gotens: Can we track him down?
Kugo: I believe so. The Phoenix-X is especially designed for Transwarp Conduit detection.
Red: Why don't we just follow him into the Conduit he created?
Kugo: His is too small for the Phoenix-X.

(Meanwhile Armond finds himself on a barren planet. He looks around)
Armond: How did I get here?
(The Creature suddenly descends normal space behind him)
Creature: Give back!!
Armond: Aaahh!!!
(Armond runs again and accidentally accelerates into Transwarp again.)
Creature: Aye.

(Armond finds himself in the Transwarp Conduit. He

#6.
(Armond takes a seat at his table and sips his morning coffee. He watches the Phoenix-X News on his view screen.)
*Lucrecia(on screen): … and the temperature on the ship today will be 34 degrees Celsius. 34 degrees all over the ship, everywhere and all the time! Say goodbye to rainy days and blue skies because it's nothing but walls and bulkheads as far as the eye can see!
(Armond accidentally drops his coffee on himself)
Armond: Aahhh!!!
*Lucrecia(presses her earphone): I'm here for all your social concerns and --Oh, I think we have a caller.
*Ensign Dan(caller): Hi, I'm Ensign Dan from Deck 1, Bridge duty. I wanted to talk about workers physcology. If an officer is pushed too far by his commanding officer, do you think he should do something about--
*Daniel(voice in the background): Ensign! What are you doing? You're relieved!!
*Ensign Dan: Oh sh--
(The calls cuts out)
*Lucrecia: Okay. Let's hand it over to Tong for hallway traffic.
(The screen switches to overhead views of people walking through the halls)
*Tong: Oh and it's crazy out here Counsillor!

(Armond notices he's late and quickly puts on his uniform and runs out of his quarters. He enters hallway traffic)
Tong: We have people backed up all the way from the north end of deck 15 to the south end. People are stuck, stuck, stuck! --Uh oh, I'm getting an emergency situation on deck 13, let's switch it over.
(The camera views deck 13)
Tong: And it's a Bridge officer, speeding! --Security is close behind, but he is still running and pushing people aside! And--uh oh, watch out--! He just crashed into a Klingon!

(Armond and Amos are on the floor)
Armond: Owe.
Amos(kicks him): Patok!

*Tong: We have two people down on the express way, covering two lanes. Traffic is slowing there as we have rubber neckers slowing down to check out the situation. Back to you.
*Lucrecia: Thank you. Now let's go over to the 'Eelex's for Sports!
*Heelix: Hey give the ball to me!
*Peelix: No, it's mine!
*Felix: Hey, stop it!

(Armond enters the Bridge and goes to his command station)
Gotens: You're late, Lieutenant! What's the matter with you!?
Armond: I slept in! Jeez. I was up all night fixing on your stupid Playstation 64!
Gotens: That's still no excuse! --And when are you going to fix my Playstation 64? Jeez, talk about taking your sweet time.
*Captian Silverbeard(suddenly goes on screen) Arrrr, matie's!!
Gotens: Aahh!! Who are you?
*Silverbeard: I be Captian Silverbeard! Scurge of the seven seas!!
Red: But we are in space.
*Silverbeard(hangs his head in shame): Ayyye, and that's what's go me so down.
Gotens: What do you want? Why are you hailing us?
*Silverbeard: What, can a Pirate not just want to say hello to a kindred ship? Arrr.
Gotens(shrugs): Oh, hello.
*Silverbeard: Hello.
(They pause and have an akward moment)
*Silverbeard: Anyways, I best be going now. I gots many a more other ships to pillage and plunder.
Gotens: Oh, okay. I wish you the best of luck. --Just out of curiosity; what do you mean by 'other ships'?
*Silverbeard: Oh, did I forget to mention? I be boarding your ship and stealing your commodities for our own selfish purposes.
Gotens: Oh okay. I'll be seein' ya--
(He thinks for a moment)
Gotens: Waaaaitaminute...
(He thinks more)
Gotens: I'm getting something... wait... wait... Oh nevermind. --Wait! ...Oh, no it's nothing... --Wait! ...wait... I'm getting a realization here... --Oh, no, no. It's just gas.
*Silverbeard(gets fed up): Arr!! I'm a freakin' hostility here! Jeez! For goodness sake, man.
Gotens: Huh? You're the who in the what now?
(Silverbeard cuts off screen in anger)
Gotens: He was a pretty nice guy.

(Captian Silverbeard paces the Bridge of his Pirate ship with one wooden leg)
Silverbeard: Arrrr! Let's commence operation, Plunder and Pillage, me matie's.
Ship's Mate Krebes: Arrr, Captian, I be gettin right on it.
Silverbeard: Arrr.
Krebes: Arrr.
Silverbeard: Arrr.
Krebes: Arrr.

(After much explaination from Lieutenant Commander Armond San Diego, Commander Gotens realizes that the ship is in danger from invasion of Pirates.)
Gotens: We have to do something!
Armond: Well it's too late now, they've already taken over the whole ship while I was explaining it to you.
(Gotens looks around and sees Pirates everywhere, holding people hostage and accessing computer systems)
Gotens: Hey!
Silverbeard(walks up to him): Well, well, well. Looks like Mr. Commander here has failed in his duties to protect the ship. Hahahahaaa!!!
Gotens: Hey, what are you doing here?
Silverbeard(gets angry): Arrghh!! I'm the bloke who took over your ship, you numbskull!!
Gotens(crosses his arms): Oh really?
Silverbeard(points his sword at him): Aye! And I'm going to make you walk the plank!
Gotens: Well, for your information, our plank isn't fully installed yet.
(Daniel walks in from the Captian's Ready Room)
Daniel(holding a piece of paper): Does anybody know the meaning of life? It's one of the questions on this Q Credit Card application. Can you believe that you have to have a credit history to get on some plain's of existence nowadays?
Silverbeard: Arr. So you be the Captian of this ship?
Daniel(looks around the bridge): Hey! What's going on here? A take over?
Silverbeard: Aye!
Daniel: Who is responsible for this?
Silverbeard: I am!! Blasted blueblazes, can't a Pirate get some recognition nowadays?
(Daniel uses his Q powers to put all the Pirates back on thier own ship)
Daniel: There. You have to be more careful, Commander.
Gotens: Well, jeez, sorry. It's my first day on the job.
Daniel: No it's not! It's your 3rd year on the job!
Gotens: First day, third year, it's all the same in my brain.

(Armond enters his Quarters, slumps into his couch and turns on the viewscreen)
Armond: Arrr... What a tough day at work. My boss is an idi-ish.
*Lucrecia: Hi and welcome to the 6 O'Clock News. Today's top story, a Ferengi bartender named BOB get's sued by another Ferengi bartender named Quark, for impersonation purposes. The police aren't releasing any names as of yet.
Armond(laughs): Har, har, har. Them Ferengi's.
*Lucrecia: Now let's throw it over to Tong who got an exclusive interview with our very own Captian.
*Tong(in the Captian's Ready Room): Thank you, Counsillor. Now when you first realized the ship was being invaded by Pirates, what be your first reaction?
*Daniel: Arr, my first reaction? Well that be of surprise there. It was like whoa.
*Tong: Like whoa?
*Daniel: Aye. Like whoa.
*Tong: Well thar you have it folks. As for myself; I was one of them blokes on Deck 14 who were stripped searched with rubber gloves and picked at with tweezers.
Armond(sits up): Hey. Why be everyone talking like Pirates?
*Tong: Thank ya, Captian.
*Daniel(nods): Aye.
*Tong: Back to you, Counsillor.
*Lucrecia: Thank ya. That be all for today, folks. I hope you be joining us again in 6 minutes for the 6:06 News. Arrr.
Armond: That's wierd. Arrr. Hey! I be talking like Pirates too!

(The next monring on the Bridge...)
Armond: Arrr. This ain't right.
Kayl: I can't help myself. The harsh language of the Pirates have begotten me. Arrrr.
Daniel: Arrr. I be talking like Pirates too and I'm a half Q.
Armond: Arrr.
Daniel: Arrr.
Armond: Arrr.
Daniel: Arrr.
Gotens(enters the Bridge): Sorry I'm late. I was up all night playing my Playstion 64. --Oh, Armond, it broke again.
Armond: Arrrr!!
Kayl: Arrr. Why you be not talking Pirate, matie?
Gotens: Huh?
Armond: Arr. I be gettin sick of fixing your Playstion 64!
Gotens: Aaahh!! Everyone's talking like Pirates! You have Piratelia!
Kayl: Piratelia?
Gotens: It's the Pirate talking disease. You must've got it from those Pirates!
Armond: Arrr.
Daniel: Arrr.
Gotens: I've had it before in one of my previous hosts. It's pushed by stress. It's like a chicken pocs; once you have it you won't get it again.
Armond: Arrr.
Gotens: I'm pretty sure it'll go away in a couple days.
Kayl: Aye. But I feel like Piliging and Plundering.
Daniel: Let's

#7.
(A Boosti ship enters Federation space. Captian Shangrilah, a tall, thin, scaly green bald headed alien with big eyes, stands up from his chair. The viewscreen goes on)
Shangrilah: Ahh. Captian of the Phoenix-X. It is a pleasure to meet you.
*Captian: Oh, the pleasure's all mine, compadre. For the record, I formally invite you over to the Phoenix-X to begin the Welcoming Ceremonies.
Shangrilah(fixing his clothing): Yes. I look forward to it. Just give me a second. And may I say, I'm so glad that my people will be joining the Federation.
*Captian: Yes. You may say that.
*Commander(nudges the Captian): Captian!
*Captian: --Uh, I mean-- I'm so glad that you're glad.
*Commander(shaking head): What an idiot.
Shangrilah(lets go of his clothing): I can beam aboard now. --Uuhhh, Captian uhh...?
*Captian: Oh, Captian Armond. And this is my second in command, Commander Kayl.
(Kayl nods to Shangrilah)
Shangrilah(nods): Ah, very good. Kehlehmeh, Transport.
(Shangrilah is beamed off)

(Gotens enters Daniel's quarters and takes a seat)
Daniel: Aha! I knew you were coming in. My Q powers can predict the future.
Gotens: Great.
Daniel: Ha! I knew you were going to say that.
Gotens: Let's do something.
Daniel(playing Playstion 64): I don't wanna.
Gotens: Come on! You've been playing that all morning!
Daniel: Nuh uh. I played it all morning and midday aaand evening.
Gotens: We're relieved of our command, all the aliens of the ship are forced to stay in thier quarters, and you don't even care!
Daniel(drops the controller): We're relieved of duty!? I didn't know that!
Gotens(sits up): You didn't? I thought you knew everything cause of your Q powers.
Daniel: Well I'm not accessing my powers all the time, you know.
Gotens: Hey! You can use your Q powers to make yourself susceptible to the changes out there and roam the decks freely.
Daniel: Nah, I don't feel like it. Let's go visit some other plains of existance.
Gotens(shrugs): Well, okay. But after, we have to do something less boring.
Daniel: Okay.
<<SNAP>>
(They disappear in a flash)

(Admiral Theseus paces back and forth in a room at Starfleet Command in San Fransisco)
Theseus(to himself): Nothing can go wrong. I've set everything in motion... Nothing can go wrong.
(Council Member Lee walks in)
Lee: Admiral. Worried about things with the Phoenix-X and the Busti going wrong?
Theseus: Yeah.
Lee: Well don't be. Lieutenant Commander Armond San Diego is a very good officer. He has a spotless record. He is a very good officer.
Theseus(fixes his uniform): He's a Starship Computer System's Specialist; he knows nothing about Captianing a ship!
Lee: Is that more aggresive anger coming from you? I will just leave the room and come back later when you are calm and serene.
(He leaves)
Theseus: Serene!? I'll show you serene!! Come here you @#$^*!@#%!!!
Lee(walks back in): Did you say something?
Theseus: No, sir.

(Armond and Kay enter the offical Reception room, on Vector 1. Shangrilah and some of his crew are already there mingling with the Federation Officers)
Armond(wearing his formal uniform): Shangrilah, I'm sorry I'm late.
Shangrilah: It's okay. I thank you for adhereing to our customs of not showing any of your other alien races until we formally introduce ourselves to them with our own customs.
Armond: No problem. --Oh right, the Welcoming Ceremony.
(Armond shakes Shangrilah's hand)
Armond: Welcome, to the melting pot, man.
Shangrilah: That's it? A simple handshake is your Welcoming Ceremony?
Armond: Well... yeah. We have some jello at the dessert table if that'll improve the ceremony for you.

(Theseus takes a seat at the huge table with all the other Federation Council Members)
Theseus: Council Members of the Federation. I hereby formally protest the joining of the Busti with the Federation.
Joe(raises his hand): Excuse me, Admiral. But I thought you invited us here for drinks, not a formal protest.
Fred: Yeah! Where's my beer!?
Theseus: Sir, a formal protest would have taken weeks of paper work, signatures, approval, and bribes. Some of which would have been erotic sex bribes.
Fred: We can still do that!
Joe: I'm sorry, Admiral. We will not acknoledge your protest.
Theseus(shows him padds): Sir, the Busti are a parasitic race. They join other cultures to use up thier natural resources. At thier last place, they extracted all the sap and syrup from the Tree Species!!
Lee: A parasitic race that uses up all thier allies' natural resources for thier own benefits? Heh, I hardly think that's an issue for the Council of the Federation.
Joe: Where is the beer!?
Lee: Shut up! You're relieved! Who put you on the Council anyway?

(Armond

#8.
a Boosti ship enters Federation space. Captian Shangrilah, a tall, thin, green, bald headed alien with big eyes, stands up from his chair. The viewscreen goes on)
Shangrilah: Ahh. Captian of the Phoenix-X. It is a pleasure to meet you.
*Captian: Oh, the pleasure's all mine, compadre. I formally invite you over to the Phoenix-X to begin the Welcoming Ceremonies.
Shangrilah(fixing his clothing): Yes. I look forward to it. Just give me a second. And may I say, I'm so glad that my people will be joining the Federation.
*Captian: Yeah, man. It's the coolest club!
*Commander(nudges him): >>Keep it down!<<
Shangrilah(lets go of his clothing): I can beam aboard now. --Uuhhh, Captian uhh...?
*Captian: Oh my bad, let me introduce myself. I'm Captian Armond, and this is my second in command, Commander Kayl.
(Kayl nods to Shangrilah)
Shangrilah(nods): Ah, very good. Kehlehmeh, Transport.
(Shangrilah is beamed off)

#9.

(Armond watches as the Boosti ship enters Federation space. Captian Shangrilah, a tall, thin, green, bald headed alien with big eyes, stands up from his chair. The viewscreen goes on)
Shangrilah: Ahh. Captian of the Phoenix-X. It is a pleasure to meet you.
*Captian: Oh, the pleasure's all mine, compadre. I formally invite you over to the Phoenix-X to begin the Welcoming Ceremonies.
Shangrilah(fixing his clothing): Yes. I look forward to it. Just give me a second. And may I say, I'm so glad that my people will be joining the Federation.
*Captian: Yeah, man. It's the coolest club!
*Commander(nudges him): >>Keep it down!<<
Shangrilah(lets go of his clothing): I can beam aboard now. --Uuhhh, Captian uhh...?
*Captian: Oh, let me introduce myself; Captian Armond. And this is my second in command, Commander Kayl.
(Kayl nods to Shangrilah)
Shangrilah(nods): Ah, very good. Kehlehmeh, Transport.
(Shangrilah is beamed off)

(Gotens enters Daniel's quarters)
Daniel: Aha! I knew you were coming in. My Q powers can predict the future.
Gotens: Great.
Daniel: Ha! I knew you were going to say that.
Gotens: Let's do something.
Daniel(playing Playstion 64): I don't wanna.
Gotens: Come on! You've been playing that all morning!
Daniel: Nuh uh. I played it all morning and midday aaand evening.
Gotens: Admiral Theseus confined all non-humans to thier quarters because according to Boosti custom, they can't meet any other alien races until they formally introduce themselves to them.
Daniel(drops the controller): So, who cares? The physical world no longer interests me. I believe I have just achieved a new level of consiousness. I think I am God....
(He glows as he hovers around the room)
Gotens(picks up the controller): Hey, I know how to beat this boss.
(He unpauses the game and plays it. The boss kills him and he gets game over)
Daniel(stops glowing and runs over): Hey!! It took me all day to get that far!
Gotens: Sorry, I didn't know you had it on Hard.
Daniel: Arrggh!! You are so demoted!
Gotens: Yeah sure. Let's go do something else.
Daniel: Okay. Let's go visit some other plains of existance!
Gotens(shrugs): Well, okay. But after, we have to do something less boring.
Daniel: Alright.
<<SNAP>>
(They disappear in a flash)

(Armond and Kayl exit the turbolift on Deck 17. They're about to enter the hallway but a guard is standing in thier way)
Armond: Uh, excuse me.
Elly: I'm sorry, sir. But Vector 2 has been sealed off.
Armond: What? Why?
Elly: I can't reveal that information to you; Admiral Theseus' orders.
Armond: I just need to go to my quarters and change my clothes for the Ceremony.
Elly: No! Go away you stupid Mexican Hat Dancer!
Armond: Leave my personal life out of this!
(Armond heads back to the turbolift)
Kayl: You're not gonna let that skank just push you around are you?
Armond(thinks about it for a second): ...Yeah.
(Kayl drags Armond back over to Elly)
Kayl: Okay, now tell her with authority.
Armond: Okay. --Lieutenant! You are relieved of duty!
Elly: You can't relieve me of duty. Only Kugo can.
*Kugo: Kugo to Elly. You're relieved of duty.
Elly: Ha! See?
Armond(to Kayl): Hey, she's right.
*Kugo: Report to Torpedo Bay 2. We're losing containment in one of the capsules!
(Elly runs down the hall. Armond and Kayl run after. They enter the Torpedo Bay where people are working on rows of torpedo capsules labelled, Slipstream Torpedo.)

#10.
(Admiral Theseus paces back and forth in a room at Starfleet Command in San Fransisco)
Theseus(to himself): Nothing can go wrong. I've set everything in motion... Nothing can go wrong.
(Admiral Rebola and enters the room)
Rebola: All the non-humans on the Phoenix-X are either in thier quarters or on Vector 2, working on building the Slipstream Torpedoes.
Theseus: Good. Nothing can go wrong. Our next step is to wait for Armond to gain the Boosti's trust so that the Boosti will bring the rest of thier ships into the Sector. Nothing can go wrong.
(The communications panel beeps. Theseus turns it on)
*Armond: Admiral! What's going on? Why are we building Slipstream Torpedoes?

#11.
(Armond and his fioncee, Monique, are having a romantic dinner at 10-Foward's Classic Dinning Room)
Armond(reaches accross the table and holds Monique's hands): I can't wait until we get married on Friday.
Monique: Niether can I. You're all I've been thinking about lately.
Armond: Really?
Monique: Well, no. I still haven't found the right dress, yet!
Armond(laughs): Well, I still haven't picked my best man, yet!
Levis(walks over): Hello, I'll be your waiter this evening. --Oh hey Monique!
Monique: Hiiii.
Levis: That's a really nice dress you're wearing.
Monique: Thanks! I got it on sale from the ships' replicator database.
Levis: Oh that's where I got my tupea!
Monique(laughs): Excuse me, I have to go to the ladies room. --If there is one on this ship.
(Monique leaves. Levis leaves to take other orders. Gewdeque runs over from another table)
Gewdeque: Did you see that?! Levis was flirting with your fioncee!
Armond(angry): That #$%@!!
Gewdeque: ...That 'pound-dollar sign-percent-at sign'?
(Gewdeque goes back to her table. Monique comes back. Levis comes back)
Levis: May I take your order?
Armond(stands): No, but you can take this.
(Armond punches Levis out)

Levis: Owe!!
(In Sickbay, Doctor Lox tends to Levis' broken nose)
Levis: Owe!!
Lox(holds a regenerator over his nose): Hold still!
(Armond watches in content. The Viewscreen beeps behind him)
Armond(turns it on): Admiral?
*Theseus: Ah, Armond. How convenient. --Doctor, I've checked; that'll be Kurozene Gas you'll be releasing into the Phoenix-X's environment.
Lox(goes over to the environmental controls): Aye, sir.
Levis(left alone): Hey! What about me!
(Armond approaches him to punch him again)
Levis(moves away): I'm okay.
Armond(goes back to the viewscreen): What's with the Kurozene Gas?
*Theseus: It's for the Boosti. They cannot survive without it.
Armond: The Boosti?
*Theseus: Yes. They are going to join the Federation and your going to be the first one's welcoming them on Friday.
Armond: Friday!? But--
*Theseus: Hey, am I done here? Let me know when you think I'm not done here!
Armond: Sorry.
*Theseus: They have very strict customs. One of which is that they do not want to see any other alien race without formally introducing themselves to thier people. If they do see an alien they have not introduced themselves to, they will not acknoledge thier presence.
Armond: Man. What's up thier ass?
*Theseus: Hey! I'm talking here! Does it look like I excercise my lips because I don't have a girlfriend!?!? No!
Armond: Alright, alright.
*Theseus: All non-humans on the Phoenix-X are to be confined to quarters. You are to take command of the Phoenix-X and gain the Boosti's trus-- uh, I mean, make them feel welcome.
Armond: ...
*Theseus: Well don't I get a thank you for making you Captian!?
Armond: But you said--
*Theseus: Don't listen to what I said, listen to what I'm saying!! Screen off!
(The screen goes off)
Armond: Man. What's up his ass?

(The Phoenix-X treks through space)

#12.
(The Boosti flag ship: the Forenca, hovers in front of the Phoenix-X at the same angle. Armond and Kayl go down a turbolift)
Armond(taps his commbadge): Armond to Ensign Monique.
*Monique: Monique here.
Armond: I have bad news. I'm working on Friday.
*Monique: Oh man!
Armond: We can do it on Monday.
*Monique(sighs): Alright. Monique out.
(The turbolift stops and they get off at Deck 17)
Elly(guarding the turbolift): I'm sorry, sir, but all of Vector 2 has been sealed off.
Armond: But I'm the Captian--
Elly: I said I'm sorry!
Armond: I just need to go to my quarters for a second--
Elly: I'm so sorry!!
(Elly starts crying. Armond and Kayl glance at eachother)
Kayl: Hey, Orion, shouldn't you be confined to quarters?
Elly(stops): --Uhh, I'm not an Orion-- I just look like one.
*Kugo: Kugo to Elly. Report to Torpedo Bay 2! We have an emergency situation here!!
(Elly runs off down the hall. Armond and Kayl run after in curiosity. They follow Elly to the Torpedo Bay where people are scattering to contain a torpedo capsule from exploding. Armond and Kayl peek inside, noticing all the non-humans who seem to be on duty, and all the rows of capsules labelled, Slipstream Torpedo.)

(Daniel and Gotens appear in a different plain of existence. They're thought patterns in a thought based universe)
Gotens: Cool, I can see people's thoughts!
Daniel: Hey look! A little hobo's thoughts!
(Hobo): Heuck, heuck. I slept with the President, the President's wife and Tom Green. Now who can I sleep with next...?

(Armond paces back and forth impatiently in the Reception Room. Most of the Vector 1 Human-crew are there, waiting for the Boosti to beam aboard)
Tong(crosses his arms): Man, where are they? My date's getting tired.
Wallace: Who's your date?
Tong: My cousin, Yong.
*Theseus(suddenly goes on screen a small viewscreen in the corner): Yes, Armond, what do you want?
Armond(runs over): Admiral! What's going on, why is Vector 2 sealed off?
*Theseus: That's none of your concern. You are to make the Boosti feel welcome! But do not try to saduse them; they have two genitelia.
Armond: I also saw Slipstream Torpedoes. Kugo refuses to answer my hails.
*Theseus(scared): What!? You saw them!?
(The Boosti Captian and crew enter the room. There's background noise as people congratulate them)
Armond: Oh, sorry, Admiral, I have to go.
*Theseus: No wait!! You have to get out of there! Get out of there!
(Armond doesn't hear and goes on to the Reception)

(The signal cuts out, and Admiral Theseus sits back, uneasy, in his office on Starbase 55)
Theseus: Oh man. They're going to find out too soon. It's all up to the Phoenix-X now.
(Federation Council Member Lee enters the room)
Lee: Theseus!! Your plan better work! The Federation Council is uneasy as it is.
Theseus: Yes, sir. ...But there are going to be some casulties.
Lee: Casulties?
Theseus: Yes. Starting with those in the Reception Room.

(Acting Captian Armond approaches Captian Shangrilah of the Boosti flag ship, Forenca)
Armond: Captian, allow me to extend you a warm welcome to you from the U.S.S. Phoenix-X and the Federation. The Federation is proud to have you. It's the coolest club!
Shangrilah: Thank you. I am honoured. This is my first in command, Kehlehmeh.
(Kehlehmeh nods to him)
Armond: This is my first, Commander Kayl.
Shangrilah(nods): Well. Shall we proceed with the welcoming ceremonies?
Armond(pauses): ....Uhhhh.... --Oh!
(Armond shakes Shangrilah's hand)
Shangrilah: That's it? A simple handshake is your welcoming ceremony?
Armond: Yup. Let's have dessert.
Shangrilah(slaps Armond's shoulderblade): Hahaha!! I like your style!
Armond(doesn't know what he's laughing at): Hahaha!!
(Both cultures relax and mingle.)

Kehlehmeh(appraoches Kayl): Can I talk to you privately for a second? It's about being first in command.
Kayl: Sure.
(Kayl brings Kehlehmeh into another room, alone)
Kehlehmeh: First of all--
(Kehlehmeh's arms liquefy green and she shoots them at Kayl's shoulders)
Kayl(in pain): Aaahh!!!

(Seconds later, Kayl walks out of the room back to the Reception. She approaches Shangrilah who is talking to Armond)
Shangrilah(finishing an anicdote): Haha! So that's how I lost my second virginity!
Armong: Eeuu.
Kayl: Excuse me, Captian Shangrilah. May I speak to you privately?
Shangrilah(nods): Yes, of course.
Armond: What's this all about, Commander?
(Kayl doesn't answer as she walks off with Shangrilah into another part of the room)

Shangrilah: Kehlehmeh?
Kayl: She doesn't know what's going on, but they are preparing Slipstream Torpedoes.
Shangrilah(shakes his head): I have never heard of them.
Kayl: It would be wise to take over this ship now. It is the most powerful in the whole Federation.
Shangrilah: Heh, heh, heh. I guess this is our lucky day...

(Armond stands at the other end of the room, reading thier lips)
Armond: ..."This is a yucky day?" --What the heck are they talking about?
Shangrilah(walks over): Captian Armond. I will be most lucky to merge with you.
Armond(walks backward towards the exit): What's going on?
(Shangrilah's arms liquefy)
Shangrilah(speaks loudly to his crew): Commence!
(Each Boosti grabs a Federation Officer. All the extra officers scatter in panic and run away. Shangrilah shoots his arms out at Armond but misses because Armond dodges it)

(Lee takes a seat at Theseus' desk)
Lee: A few casulties is not much to ask for the safety of the Federation. Let's hope your Lieutenant Commander Red can pull this off.
Theseus: He will.

(Red stands at the Phoenix-X's Vector 2 Battle Bridge)
Kugo(runs in): What's happening?
Shane: The Boosti have already begun thier hunt as predicted.
Red: This is too soon. Why have they started so soon?
Shane(checks sensors): It doesn't matter, the Boosti have signalled for the rest of thier fleet.
Kugo: The Slipstream Torpedoes are ready.
Red: Good. Remember Admiral Theseus' orders... Destroy the Boosti.

(Daniel and Gotens appear in a different plain of existence. They are blobs, who are squished beside other blobs. There is no breathing room)
Gotens: Okay, what the heck are we now?
Daniel: I dunno. But I think these two guys beside me are trying to have sex with me.
Gotens: Eeuu. Hey! They're doing it to me too!
Daniel: Let's get out of here.
Gotens(moves around): Arrrggghhhhh.
(King Blob): Hey!
Gotens: ...Uh oh.

(Armond out runs Shangrilah. He wanders the hallways until he find Monique's Quarters)
Monique: Armond?
Armond: Monique! Something's wrong.
Monique(laughs): I'll say. I just relized; if you're Captian, then who's gonna marry us at the wedding ceremony?
Armond: No I mean--
(Shangrilah deliquefies from the cieling and hangs there. He drops onto Monique and liquefies into Monique's body.)
Monique: Aaaaahhh!!!
Armond: Noooo!!!
(Monique gets up and walks over to Armond)
Monique(with an evil look in her eyes): ...Captian. I would've possessed you, but the female form is something I have not possessed in a while... Heh, heh, heh.
Armond(angry): What have you done to Monique!?
Monique: Nothing that won't happen to you soon enough.
(Armond backs up and quickly accesses a control panel. Another Boosti suddenly enters Monique quarters.)
Armond: Computer, initiate site to site transport.

(Armond beams onto the Bridge of the Phoenix-X. He runs over to his old control panel, accesses it, and locks the main computer out with an encryption code.)
Armond: I have a feeling the odds are against me.

(A huge fleet of 30 Boosti ships descend Transwarp and surround the Phoenix-X and the Forenca. Red watches on Vector 2 viewscreen.)
Red: Kugo, depart Vector's 2 and 3 from Vector 1. Shane, load the Slipstream Torpedoes, aim a wide range and fire.
Kugo: Sir, the computer isn't responding. It's locked out on an encryption code.
Shane(shakes his head): This isn't good. The Boosti are invading Vector 2 and 3. They're going right through our shields.
(A Boosti suddenly deliquefies from the cieling and drops down. She looks past everyone in the room and approaches Kugo's console)
Leelu: The computer's out here too.
*Toguera: Acknoledged.
Kugo: Hold it!
(Kugo tries stopping Leelu, but goes right through her. Red fires phasers at her, but it has no effect. Leelu just stands there, ignoring everyone, and tapping at the console faster than humanly possible)
Leelu: Estimated time until I break the code.... 5 minutes.
(Red fires at the console, but Leelu covers it with surface liquid from her skin)
*Toguera: Toguera to all those just arriving; possess the aliens we do not know. Every last living alien on this ship is to be possessed. Toguera out.
(Ten Boosti emerge from the walls, to get Red's skeleton crew)

(Armond stands alone on the Bridge thinking about Monique)
Armond(angry): Arrgghh.... They will pay.
Kayl(enters the Bridge): Who are you?
Armond(turns around and looks at her): Toguera.
Kayl: Good. Hail the Kehlo, Lieutenant.
Armond(accesses his panel): There is some sort of encryption code locking out the computer.
Kayl(nods): Wait for it....
(The computer beeps)
*Leela: I have broken the encryption code.
(The Boosti Captian of the Kehlo goes on screen)
*Hehloheh: What are the co-ordinates?
Kayl: 243 mark 784. ETA, 3 hours.
*Hehloheh(grunts): Thank you. We will begin colonization.
(Armond accesses the database and inputs the co-ordinates. A planet appears on his little viewscreen)

Lee: Trucose Prime of the Trucose System.
(Council Member Lee points to a picture on his viewscreen)
Lee: We promised the Boosti this planet for them if they joined the Federation. It's the only planet in the Quadrant that supports Kurozene gas. In return, we'd get thier technology, which is years ahead of ours.
Theseus(nods): I see.
Lee: Until you told me that they were a threat.
Theseus(provides padds with evidence): Yes, from my contacts. The Boosti are an invading race. They live off of the possession of other beings. They stay like that for at least 5 years and then dispose of the bodies.
Lee(looks at him): You mean, when they leave the body, it dies?
Theseus(nods): Yes.

(Armond continues to think about his fioncee as more people enter the Bridge)
Armond: Argggghhh...

#13.
(Levis beats Armond at pool)
Levis: Hahaha! I beat you again, Armond! Hahahaha!!
Armond(grabs a pool stick): Shut up! Play again.
Levis(wipes his forehead with a hankerchief): Nuh uh. You're just tryin to hustle me. I know you're really good at the game and not suck like how you've just been playing.
Armond(gets really angry): Arrrgghh....!!
(Levis tosses the hankerchief in Armond's face)
Levis: Take it like a man, Armond. A mexican man.
(Armond tackles Levis to the floor and beats him up. Everyone around cheers them on. Monique enters the bar)
Monique(pulls Armond away): Armond, stop it!! What are you doing!?
Armond(stares Levis down): I was just getting to know my new friend better. Was that roll of quarters in your pocket?
(Levis runs away)
Monique(dusts Armond off): You know that this is our time together. This is our honeymoon. And I'm so glad to be away from the Phoenix-X for once.
Armond(nods): Yeah, I know. But you can't enter a bar and leave without having one bar fight. It's one of the rules.
(They leave the bar and go outside. They're on the planet, Risa)

#14.
(A humaniod, breathing in space, ducks behind a small comet, to spy the rondezvous of two starships. The Federation Starship, Phoenix-X, hails the Boosti Starship, Forenca)
Gotens: Captian, it is an honor to be admissioning your species into the Federation.
*Shangrilah: Oh, thank y-- waaaaitaminute. You're supposed to join us!
Gotens(laughs): The Fedration is its own organization. We don't join under other people.
*Shangrilah: Man, we don't join other other people either!
(Pause. The Commander glances at the crew for answers)
Gotens(still looking at the crew): Well? When I look at you, that means you have to give me answers!
(Armond steps off the turbolift to take his post at tactical control. He looks up at the Boosti Captian on screen)
Armond: Boosti...
(Armond cuts the audio from the transmission)
Armond: Commander, the Boosti are a wretched trecherous race. We must not be within close range with them.
Gotens: Armond, you say that about every race we encounter; the Borg, the Dominion, the Romulans, the Tree Species--
Armond: But, sir!
Gotens: Hold on. I gotta talk to the Captian for a sec. Keep the Boosti entertained.
(The Commander leaves the Bridge. Everyone looks at Armond, who is next highest in command)
Armond(puts audio back on and walks up to the screen): Why are you here?
*Shangrilah: Obviously you haven't been briefed for work today. You Federation Officers are so incognizant.
Armond: I may not know what that means, but I do know that I will not let the Federation deal with you...
*Shangrilah(causiously stares at Armond): ...May I ask why?
(Armond doesn't say anyting. He just goes back to his station to cut the transmission)

(Shangrilah glances at his first officer)
Shangrilah: We must wait. We cannot pass up this oppourtunity to have a merging with the Federation; or at least with the Phoenix-X.
Kehlehmeh: What was wrong with that guy?
Shangrilah(shrugs): Who knows. He's Mexican.

(The humaniod leaps off the comet and floats towards the Phoenix-X. Meanwhile, the Commander enters the Captian's quarters. The Captian is playing Playstation 64 with Q)
Daniel: Arrghh! Come on! We've almost got him!
Q: Ahh! Watch out for his third arm near his stomach!
Daniel: That's not a third arm!
Gotens(inturupts): Captian, we have an emergency situation on the Bridge.
Daniel: Not now! Me and Q double teamed and are almost about to beat King Kupa 3000.
Gotens(sits down beside them): Oh cool!
(On the screen, Mario and Luigi jump kick up and down at King Kupa 3000)
Gotens: Jeez, you'd think the graphics would be better in the 24th Century.
Q: Oh no!
(King Kupa 3000 fires a fireball at Luigi and kills him)
Q: I'm all out of free men too.
Gotens: Man, you suck, Q.
Q: Hey! Shut up if you don't want me to turn you into a Mario charactar and make you go inside the game and beat it with your real life danger!
Gotens: Oh that'd be so cool! Can you please!?
Q(pause): Hey, no. That's supposed to be a threat.
(The humaniod peeks through the window from outside)
Daniel: Yes! I beat him!!
(King Kupa 3000 falls off the screen. The door to save the Princess opens. But Mario isn't standing at the door so the game freezes)
Daniel: Oh man! This game has a glitch in it too!!
(The humaniod walks through the window and approaches them)
X(points at Daniel): You will die...
Q: Whoops, gotta go!
(He disappears in a flash)

#15.
(The senior staff rallys in the conference room where Admiral Theseus is on screen, priority 1, from Starbase 55)
*Theseus: Phoenix-X crew. You have the most stealth and powerful ship in Starfleet. You all should know by now why I have gathered you here.
(Everyone looks at eachother clueless)
*Theseus: You know, the Boosti thing?
(Everyone just looks at him)
Daniel: Oh! Was I supposed to tell them about it too?
*Theseus: Yes!
Daniel(shrugs): Too bad, so sad.
*Theseus: Phoenix-X crew, it is unfortunate, long range sensors have picked up---
Shane(sits up): --The Borg!
(Pause)
*Theseus: No. The Boosti. --Who are you?
Shane(sinks back in his seat): No one, sir.
*Theseus: Anyways, the Boosti are an unknown alien fleet consisting of so many ships that no known number can reach that high!
(He takes a second look at his padd)
*Theseus: Oh nevermind, it's 24.
Armond: Admiral, are they planning to invade the Federation?
*Theseus: Yes they are, Armond. We recieved a signal from the Zarkolians just before thier entire race was taken over by the Boosti.
(Theseus looks at the crew. No one seems to care)
Gotens: The who?
*Theseus: The Zarkolians.
Gotens: Oh.
*Theseus: Your mission--
Daniel: I know, I know. To wipe out the fleet. Jeez. Take all day why don't you.
*Theseus(annoyed): Thank you, Daniel.
Armond(stands up): Wait a minute. Wipe out a whole fleet? I dunno if anyone gets this, but that is mass slaughter.
(Everyone looks at eachother clueless)
Armond: You know, killing a lot of people. People with lives! People who can change thier ways!!
(Everyone just looks at him)
Red: Oh! You mean the people inside the ships?
Armond: Yes!
Red(shrugs): Too bad, so sad.
Armond: Arrgghh. I can't believe this! Am I the only human in this room!?
(He looks around, and he is)
Armond: Oh.
(Walace and Kayl walk in)
Kayl: Sorry we're late.
Walace: Yeah, we're on human time. That's 24 hours. Not 36!
*Theseus: Armond, I'm sorry, but I cannot have the Phoenix-X with a weak link. As of now, you are off this mission and confined to quarters until it's over. Details of the mission are not to be revealed to you.
Daniel(laughs): Heh, heh, loser.
Armond: But I'm the third best officer on this ship. You need me!
*Theseus: Nah, we'll get Kayl to take your place.
Red: Who will take Kayl's place?
*Theseus: Uhhh... --Ensign Dan.
Ensign Dan: Wohoo!
Daniel: Doh!
*Theseus: That's all for now, dismissed. Be sure to report back here for the mission detials at 36 hundred hours.
Walace: Oh man!
(Everyone gets up and leaves)

Daniel: Come in.
(Armond enters the Captian's Quarters)
Armond: Captian, I hope you haven't forgotten that you are marrying us on Sunday.
Daniel(looks at him): What? I never asked you to marry me!
Armond: No, me and my fionce, Monique. It's always been the Captian's duty to preform the ceremonies.
Daniel(preoccupied): Oh yeah. Look, I won't be able to do it. Get the Commander to.
Armond: But--!
Daniel: No!
(Another Federation Officer enters his Quarters)
Daniel: What is this, Open House? Crewmen! What are you doing here?
(Crewmen): You're a Q, you should already know by just looking at me.
Daniel(looks at him): ..... I don't know.
(Crewmen): I am X. Follower of the X that has merged to you.
Daniel: You're an X?
X: You're an X! You are not a Q!
Daniel: Don't yell at me, follower! You are mine to command!
(X uses his power to force Daniel to his knees)
X: Nope. You may have been the cause for the X-Continum, but we do not follow our leader blindly.
Daniel(on his knees): Arghh!!
(X releases his grip and Daniel gets up)
Daniel: You will pay for that.
(Daniel thrusts his hand forward, as to release a force of energy, but nothing comes out)
X: I have removed your easy access to your powers. To get to them, you must earn them.
Daniel: Earn them!?
X: We at the X-Continum have made that descision. You are not yet worthy to be our leader.
Daniel: #$%&@#!!! The X-Continum doesn't have the right to take control of my life!
X: To access your powers, you must look within yourself, to the X.
Daniel(grabs X by his shirt): Arghh!! As the leader of the X-Continum, I demand you return my powers to me!!
X: Remember, it is not the omnipotence, but the cause for the omnipotence.
(X disppears)
Daniel(looks over at Armond): What the H.E. double hockey sticks?? --I'm going after him.
Armond: But what about the Boosti invasion?
Daniel(leaving the room): I don't care about that!

(The Commander steps up to the view screen on the Bridge)
Gotens: You will pay for what you have done...
*Shangrilah(a Boosti): But we have not done anything.
Gotens: --Oh. Well then... You will pay for what you're about to do.... --You're about to invade us, right?
*Shangrilah(nods): Yeah. Nothing personal, though.
Gotens: Oh, I totally understand. I mean, sometimes these things, you have to do.
*Shangrilah: That is so true! Some people just don't get it. I mean, this is my job, and I have to do it!
Gotens: Absoutely. I don't know why other people can't get that!
*Shangrilah: I know, eh!
Red(interupts): --Uhh, Commander--
*Shangrilah: Oh right. We must commence invasion.
Gotens: Oh, yeah, yeah. Be my guest.
*Shangrilah: Thank you. You know, you are the nicest race we've ever had to invade.
Gotens: Hey, thanks man. You're the nicest enemy we've ever had to kill.
(The screen goes off)
Gotens: Ready weapons.
Kayl: They're not ready yet. We only have Quantum Torpedoes.
Gotens: Oh man.
Ensign Dan: Commander, they're beaming through our shields. They're on Decks 20 to 23.
Gotens: What? They're not supposed to invade the ship.

#16.
(A beaten up alien ship floats into Federation space. The U.S.S. Xena picks up on it and comes to its aid)
Wing: Hey, that ship looks like it needs our help!
Aeris: That only means one thing! We have to help them!
Wing: Captian, I like the way you think.
(The Xena hails them and the alien goes on screen)
*Shangrilah: Yes?
Aeris: This Captian Aeris of the Federation Starship Xena. We've observed your vessel and noticed a lot of dents and scratches on the hull.
*Shangrilah(shakes his head): Ugh. We were under attack from the Borg. You know, those guys with the big square ships?
Aeris: Yes. We've had our share of attacks from the square ship species. Can we help you in anyway? The Xena is especially designed as a repair and healing vessel.
*Shangrilah: You would help us when you don't even know us?
Aeris(nods): Of course!
*Shangrilah: What if I told you, our species were mean?
Aeris: I'd say, your species was productive.
*Shangrilah: What if I told you, our species were greedy?
Aeris: I'd say, your species was anxious.
*Shangrilah: What if I told you, our species is temprimental?
Aeris: I'd say, expressive.
*Shangrilah(rubs his chin): You are a very interesting species, Captian.

#17.
(Armond accesses the control panel again)
Armond: I have a plan. I'll access the torpedo's from here and fire at that alien ship! Assuming that thier weaker than us, this plan should work.
Monique: If they were weaker than us, then they wouldn't've been able to take over the ship.
Armond: There's no time for useless logic, woman!
Monique(points to the screen): Hey! It looks like we were trying to dump the old torpedo drive and load a new one during battle.
Armond(reads through): ...But we only have one torpedo drive.
(The control panel beeps)
Armond: Uh oh, someone from the Bridge is trying to access the main computer's memory records.
Monique: Lock them out!
Armond(taps really fast on the panel): I'll block them with an encryption code.... uhhh... 1-800-555-LOVE. Romantic, eh?
Monique: That's it, only 11 digits?
Armond: Well I'm not freakin Data here.

(Another ship rondezvous and Captian Shangrilah beams aboard the Phoenix-X. Red tries to access the main computer)
Red: I cannot get in. Someone has locked me out.
Gotens(steps forward): That's impossible, we got everyone on the ship.
Shangrilah: Perhaps you missed one. Your crew is old.
Gotens: So! Your crew is older!
Kayl(enters the bridge): People, people, let's not fight amugst ourselves.
Gotens: Sorry, Captian.
Kayl: Shangrilah! Hey, wussssuuuppp homie?? I didn't know you were part of our squadran!
Shangrialh(gives a cool handshake): Captian Lelokeh? Is that you?
Kayl: Yup! Well my friend, guess what; I detected some stowaways on the ship just before they locked us out of the computer. They're yours to conquer!
Shangrilah: Alright!
(Shangrilah liquefies into the floor to start the search)

(Armond accesses the control panel again)
Armond: Yes! I almost have this level beaten! If only Laura Croft can stay alive...
Monique: Armond! We're supposed to be finding out what's going on, not playing games!
Armond: What's to find out? We're captured by aliens; They're bringing reinforcements; No hope left for the Federation. What can we do?
Monique: Argghh. You don't even care if we get caught!
(Monique starts crawling away)
Armond: Where you going?
Monique: To our quarters to get some rest before the aliens capture me!
Armond(follows her): Oh come on! You're not mad at me, are you?
(Monique kicks the ventalation door out and enters her quarters)
Armond(follows her): Monique!
(Monique replicates something to eat and sits at her couch)
Armond(walking over): Okay, I'll find a way to contact the Federation and get them to send reinforcements--
(Shangrilah deliquefies from the cieling and hangs from there)
Shangrilah: Go ahead, human. That's what we want! Hahahaha!!
Armond(gasps): Captian Shangrilah!
(The alien drops from the cieling and splashes on top of Monique)
Monique: Aaaahhhh!!!
(The liquid sucks itself into her body. She stands up and walks over to Armond)
Armond: What have you done to Monique!?
Monique: Heh, heh. Nothing that won't happen to you soon enough...

(Another alien from Shangrilah's crew enters the quarters. Armond runs past him and down the hall. The alien chases after. Armond hides behind a corner and the alien runs by.)
Armond: Phew.
(He looks at the door next to him and enters the Torpedo Bay. Two people meet there, and start talking)
Gewdeque: Hey, who are you?
GoyCho: It's me, Pelejeh.
Gewdeque: Oh hey, what's up? It's me Dretah. These bodies are great, eh!
GoyCho: I know! It's just too bad, we'll be leaving them in a month.
Gewdeque: I know. Then they'll be dead, and we'll have to find another race to conquer for sustinance.
GoyCho(shrugs): Well, that's life for ya.
(GoyCho nods at Armond as the two walk by him, leaving him alone in the Torpedo Bay. Armond is shocked)
Armond(punches a torpedo case in anger): Arrgghh!!! My wife is dead and so is everyone else on the ship!!!
(He punches it again several times)
Armond: Aarrrgghh!!! I will have my revenge!! Thier entire race will pay!!
(He looks up at the torpedo case and notices the whole Bay filled with identical Cases labelled, Slipstream Torpedo)

(Another alien from Shangrilah's ship beams onto the bridge)

#18.
Armond: Main computer is back online. Head for Kina 4, Transwarp 4.
Red(engages the ship): Okay.
(Armond approaches Red, who's back is to him. Armond narrows his eyes and is about to strangle Red, but Red turns around)
Red: I hear your Captian finally found a host.
Armond(holds his hands behind his back): Yeah. Some human female.
(Red turns back around. Armond gets back to his senses and phasers Red. Red falls off the helm)
Armond: Computer, locate Captian Daniel and beam him to the bridge.
(Daniel is beamed onto the bridge, crosslegged and meditating)
Armond: Captian! I've figured out what happened. The Phoenix-X must've got word of an invasion just before we left to the nebula for the wedding ceremony. They must've started building the Slipstream Torpedoes right after we lef--
Daniel(shakes his head): Silence! I'm trying to do something here.
Armond: But--
Daniel: I can't concentrate when you're talking to me!
Armond(takes the helm): It's okay, I know what Admiral Theseus ordered the Phoenix-X to do.

(The Phoenix-X comes out Transwarp at Kina 4. There are 43 Boosti Attack Vessels parked around it. Armond is hailed)
*Captian Shmalsh: Hey, wusup dog?
Armond: Hey, wusup scaly green alien guy...?
*Smalsh: Hold up. Scanners.
(One of Smalsh's crew scans the Phoenix-X)
*Smalsh: You're not merged, you humaniod scum!!
Armond: Well, niether are you...you...scaly green alienoid scum!
*Smalsh(commands his men): Destroy the ship! He's probably killed the others!
(The screen cuts out and the Phoenix-X shakes like crazy. Armond runs over to his old post)
Armond: Gotta load the Slipstream Torpedoes!!

(Gotens tries leaveing Engineering but runs into a force field at the doorway)
Gotens: What's going on?
Kugo: Armond put ionic forcefields up at every door on the ship. We're stuck.
Gotens: Damn these bodies!
(Kelarou walks through the forcefield)
Kelarou: I was knocked out by this Armond.
Gotens: Get to the bridge and eliminate him!!!

(Armond runs back to the helm)
Armond: Damn! It's gonna take a couple minutes to load. Stupid 486 System!

(All the surrounding Boosti ships move for the Phoenix-X as the Phoenix-X starts manouvering around them. Smalsh's ship discharges a torpedo at the Phoenix-X, severely damaging it. All the other ships fire. Armond engages multi vector mode, and the Phoenix-X splits into three, manouvering everyone)
Armond(runs back to his post): Almost...
(The ship shakes and bulkheads and beams collapse all over the bridge. Daniel just sits there concentrating)
*Computer: Slipstream Torpedoes ready.
(Armond brings the ship back together and spins it around to face the entire Boosti fleet. He's about to press fire when Yelto comes from the side and tackles him to the floor)
Armond: Arrggh!!!!
Yelto(brings her foot up above Armond's face): Why can't you die!?!?
Armond(trips her): Well nobody wants to die.
(Armond crawls towards his post but Kelarou walks through the forcefield of a door onto the bridge)
Armond(calls to Yelto): Look!
(Yelto crawls towards Armond, dodging a falling support beam, only looking at Armond. Armond looks over at Kelarou's face which brings back his anger. He stands

Go to the actual story:
Vengeance

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