Episode 2
"Deep Wormhole 9"
"Deep Wormhole 9"
(On
the Pheonix-X)
Night:
Captain, we are getting ready to dock on DS9.
Daniel:
Okay, do what you have to do.
Night:
I guess.....after all, you do trust me.
Daniel:
Uhhhh....nevermind. Let me drive this time. You might hit the station.
Night:
I want to do it.
Daniel:
No, I will.
Night:
I really want to do it.
Daniel:
I said no and that's an order.
Night:
Fine then!
(Commander Gotens presses
a bunch of buttons and accidentally fires a photon torpedo on DS9. It
knocks DS9 into the Worm
hole.)
Night: Opps! I mean, that was your fault.
Daniel:
Uh!
BOB: It seems that the station
was testing out the little trick we did, with the diverting phaser power
to shields.
Ensign Dan: Oh yeah...didn't
the phaser fire from the enemy get knocked back and blew up the ship?
Daniel:
WHAT!? Full thrusters, get us outta--
Night: Doonna' worry Mon Capitanio, it was a torpedo, not a phaser. It won't come
back. They do explode on impact.
Daniel:
Whew! That was close.
Night:
Yeah, it's okay. I'm always right on my speculations. That's why you trust
me.
Daniel:
Full thrusters, get us outta here!!
(Ship relocates)
(Torpedo misses the ship)
Night:
What?
Daniel:
....
BOB: The worm hole was experiencing multi-fluxuial desterbances.
Daniel:
....
BOB: Uuhh... it was expanding
and depanding.
Night:
Why?
BOB: We don't know.
Daniel:
I wouldn't expect it from a Ferengi.
BOB: Oh an' guess a Changeling
would try turn into a warp core!
Daniel:
If you were Starfleet I would relieve you of duty...get off my bridge.
Night: Captian, the Xena is here.
Daniel:
What are they doing, following us?
Night:
On screen.
(The Xena is on screen)
(Accepted hail, on screen)
*Aeris: Captian.
Daniel: Captian.
*Aeris: Where's Deep Space
9!?!
Daniel:
Uuuh...I little mishap...
*Aeris: ..."Little mishap"...!
Night:
System failure--
*Aeris: ..."System Failure"...!
Daniel:
--Yeah, system failure!
Night:
Yeah, that's it.
Daniel:
It's-it's not like we were fooling around with the controls--
Night: No-no..not like that at all--
Daniel:
Although we've been having system glitches all over the ship--
Night:
--Yeah, you know...holosweep skips...soonic shower jumps...door malfunctions...
*Aeris: Oh well, maybe I
should send some people over to find out how the torpedo got fired--
Daniel:
No-no, that's okay...we've got it all under control.
*Aeris: Okay. Well I request
that you beam over here so we can figure out how to deal with this problem.
Daniel:
Me beam over there? Why don't you come over here?
*Aeris: Well you just said
you've been having swstem malfunctions all over the ship.
Daniel:
---oh ye--Yes, a point I was just aboutt to point out.
*Aeris: Then...
Daniel:
We'll be over there in 5 minutes.
*Aeris: Aeris out.
Daniel:
If Starfleet ever found out that it was you who fired the missiles, I would
be relieved of command.
Night:
I know...it was your fault though.
(Daniel and Night start
fighting)
(On Deep Space 9)
Worf: Gravity nets holding.
Nog: Well what now?
O'Brian: DS9 has no propultions
systems...
Dax: And we are still moving.
Sisko: How long untill we
reach out of the worm hole?
Dax: 15 minutes. Considering
the worm hole is expanded. That's how it was when we entered. If it wern't
for these worm hole glitches, DS9 would be destroyed.
Nog: And when we crash into
the border..it will be the end of Deep Space 9.
Pheonix-X log enteries...
*Daniel:
Captian's log. I've relieved Ensign Dan of duty for the 6th time this hour
and I still seem to see him on the bridge... The Ferengi, BOB, who is here
with us to provide Jem'Hadar information is really starting to get on my
nerves. It seems all my crew members are annoying. I need to recrut. Meanwhile,
I've been wasting time with this log Deep Space 9 has been headed for its
doom. Captian Aeris and I have come up with an idea to tractor beam the
station. Using both ships to tractor beam will not be enough to bring DS9
back, but it will be enough to stop it from moving. We will persue this
next time the hole opens. Glitchedly expanded or not, the tractor beams
will fit through the hole.
(On the Pheonix-X)
Lieutenant: Sensors are
picking up a Jem'Hadar vessel.
Daniel: Wha--?
Lieutenant: Life support
systems are down, there is no life on it. It is fully capable of running.
Daniel:
No time for that.
Night:
Tractor beam ready?
Chief: Ready sir.
Night:
Shoot now.
(The worm hole opens and
the Pheonix-X and Xena fire tractor beams.)
Chief: We've got the station.
Night:
Pull them in.
Armond: The station is at
a halt.
Daniel:
Good. Lower tractor beam...we've wasted enough power with the torpedos...
Night:
We should be able to use tractor beam again in half an hour.
BOB: Jem'Hadar vessels have
great tractor beams, very strong.
Daniel:
That's great "loaby".
Ensign Dan: If we use the
Jem'Hadar ship for a third tractor beam, then we might be able to bring
back the station.
Daniel: Shh!! You're relieved! I'm trying to think....If we use the Jem'Hadar ship
for a third tractor beam, then we might be able to bring back the station.
Night:
Excellent idea Captian.
Ensign Dan: Considering
the worm hole is in it's gliched form when we pull him out...
Daniel:
Considering the worm hole is in it's gliched form when we pull him out...
You're relieved!
Armond: Captian Aeris is
hailing us.
Night:
On screen.
*Aeris: All that we could
do is stop it. Captian X, beam over later and well plan again... Aeris
out.
Daniel:
There is no way I'm going to that other ship again. What does she think?
My ship is inferior to hers?
Mine is the best ship on the Fleet. And what kind of name is Xena? Sounds like
an old ancient Earth name from a out of date TV show. I'll just say that
our transporter is malfunctioning.
Night:
What if Aeris uses her transporter to beam you out?
Daniel:
Darn!.....we'll just send a disruptor signal. That'll fix them.
(Later...)
*Aeris: Captain, we are
ready for you to beam over.
Daniel:
Oh...uh....our transporters are down.
*Aeris: Then we will beam
you out ourselves.
Daniel:
Oh, there is no need for that. We can just talk over our
communications channel.
*Aeris: Fine. What is our
plan?
Daniel:
There is a ship a drift. It's Jem'Hadar. They are known for their
strong tractor beams. We
will use that one with ours and that should pull DS9
out.
(On the Xena)
Aeris: Uh...okay. That'll
do. Excellent plan.
*Daniel:
We will start at once.
Lieutenant: Hey, your transporters
are working okay.
*Night:
Oh yeah, we just fixed them. What timing, eh?
Aeris: Aeris out.
(On the Pheonix-X)
Night:
You owe me.
(On Deep Space 9)
Worf: I'm detecting some
kind of probe just out in the field.
Sisko: What? On screen.
Dax: It has a Cardassian
signature.
Garak: Ah yes. I recognize
it. It is used in Templos colonies to adjust a planets gravatational pull.
This one must be malfunctioning.
Sisko: Or malfunctioning
on purpose.
Dax: Why else would it be
in the worm hole?
Nog: We should destroy it,
it's obviously the thing causing the worm holes expandation and detractions.
Sisko: No. If we destroy
it, the worm hole won't expand enough for us to escape. Worf, do you think
we can control it?
Warf: I think so sir.
Sisko: Good. Lock tractor
beam on it and see if you can program it to keep open our side of the worm
hole.
Worf: Yes Captian.
(Pheonix-X's away team beams
onto the Jem'Hadar ship)
(On abandonned Jem'Hadar
ship)
Night:
Find the bridge.
Ensign Dan: Do you think
this is gonna really work?
Night:
Of course. I can work a tractor beam, trust me.
(On Pheonix-X)
Daniel:
X to Gotens, how are things?
*Night:
Fine Captian, we're ready to engage.
Daniel: Night, are you the one who's going to operate the tractor beam?
*Night:
Yeah.
Daniel:
Oh God, this is my most riskyest mission yet. Okay. Everyone wait to engage
on my mark. Mark!
*Night:
I hope this works.
Daniel:
It will. Trust me. ......Oh my gosh. What am I saying? I'm starting to
sound like you.
*Night:
Hah. Told you it was your fault.
Daniel:
Uggh! You are relieved Ensign Dan. Ahhh. That felt good. How are we doing
on the station, BOB?
BOB: The station is coming
out.
*Aeris: It's working.
(On Deep Space 9)
Kira: The hole is holding.
(The station shakes roughly)
Sisko: Are we out!?
(On the Pheonix-X)
BOB: It's out. That's great.
Daniel:
That's great.
BOB: I said that.
Daniel:
I can say whatever I want.
(On Deep Space 9)
Sisko: Good. I want that
probe, we can add it to our Federation technology.
Warf: The hole is back to
normal.
(374 years ago...)
(On Earth)
Mr. Burns: Excellent...
(374 years later)
(On the Pheonix-X)
*Night:
I hope everything is under control.
Daniel:
Everything should be.
BOB: Everything is nominal.
Daniel:
Okay Night, you can release tractor beam.
*Night:
Yes Captian. Ooops.
(Jem'Hadar ship turns left
and tractor beams Pheonix-X)
(Everyone falls)
(374 years ago...)
(On Earth)
Homer: Doh!
END
(On the Pheonix-X)
Daniel:
That's good. We have a new mission. The mission is to retrieve the Intrepid
ship Voyager. Ever since we got word of them being alive, we have been
assigned to get them. Set a course for the Delta Quadrant.
Ensign Dan: Yeah, another
mission!
Daniel:
Ensign, you are relieved.
Night:
Find Voyager?
Daniel:
Yes find Voyager, and make me look good in the making.
Ensign Dan: Well where is
it?
Daniel:
Well if we knew that we would not have a mission!
Ensign Dan: Well if you
knew that, we might have a good captian!
Night:
Daniel, go ahead and say it.
Daniel:
You're relieved!
Night:
So how do we start?
Daniel:
We should annalized the situation...how did they get lost in the first
place?
Night:
I dunno, it was such an old episode I forget.
Daniel:
Hhmmm....well we could head for the Delta quadrant, but we could risk running
into the Borg.
Night:
And it would also take us a while.
BOB: We could get lost too.
Daniel:
Who asked you.
Night:
We could get lost too.
Daniel:
That's true...good thing you brought that up.
Armond: Starfleet has provided
us with maps.
Night: Captian, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Daniel:
Um, I think so Night, but shape shift into a rock and slingshot me all
the way through the galaxy? It might not be good for my fibre.
Night:
If you weren't such a pudding I would sidate you at this very moment. No
my fellow Federation fluke from Friday. We are to plan a shortcut and race
at warp speed to Voyager...then behind thier backs, we will take over the
quadrant!
Daniel:
Egad, brilliant Night! Oh-no, wait, wait...what if someone turns around
and sees us while we are at transwarp?
Night:
Then...we will just have to go really really fast.
BOB: Staying at transwarp
for a prolong period of time will over heat our transwarp core.
Daniel:
Oh what do Ferengi's know, all they do is negotiate, deal, and bet.
BOB: We do not. I'll bet
you that I can stay on your ship, help with all your missions without earning
a single slip of latinum.
Daniel:
You're on.
BOB: And if I win, you owe
me 1 brick of latinum.
(Later)
(In the mess hall)
Daniel:
Can I have a cup over here please?
Chef: Would you like a drink
to go with that?
Daniel:
No. Just a cup.
Chef: Okay, coming right
up....here's your cup sir.
Captain:
Thanks.
(The Captain squishes into
the cup. Chef turns and leaves. Then the chef comes back and takes the
cup with the Captain in it. He washes it. The Captain is now in the Plumbing
system of the ship.)
(Later in Ensign Dan's quarters,
he washes his hands. The Captain, being stuck in the Plumbing, squishes
through the sink.)
Captain:
I hate when that happens.
Dan: Captain?
Captain:
Thanks a lot. I want you on duty immediately for helping me.
Dan: Captain?
Captain:
Are you questioning me? You are relieved.
(Captain returns to the
Bridge)
Daniel:
What is our status Numba' 1?
Night:
Nothing yet.
Daniel:
Uh! I can't believe that! What are we going to do?
BOB: Sir, there is some
ship off the portbow.
Daniel:
On screen.
BOB: It's federation. It's
Voyager!
Daniel:
It can't be. That'll mess up the whole theme.
Q: Luke, I am your father.
What? Where am I? You did not see that.
<<snap>>
Night:
What in the world?
Daniel:
We must not break the theme. Engineering, can you open a transwarp class
shockwave in front of us?
*Kugo: But that would push
everything in front of us to about 50000 light years away. That is like
twenty three years away.
Daniel:
Are you questioning me? Do it.
Night:
Captain, are you sure you want to do this.
Daniel:
Get your Mickey Mouse butt back in your seat and shut those goofy mouth
of yours.
Night:
Well then.
Daniel:
Are you ready engineering?
*Kugo: Yes Captain.
Daniel:
Make it so.
(Voyager is pushed back
into the Delta quadrant. Pheonix-X returns to the Alpha quadrant)
 |
|
|
END -
| BACK |
|