"Fight"
(Daniel takes a seat on an
operating bed in sickbay, still overwhelmed with amazement of recent events)
Daniel: ...Whoa, I can't
believe I can outlive everyone on this ship.
Shane: But you were already
going to outlive everyone on this ship.
Gotens(walks over and picks
up a padd): Well, we've completed all the tests and I'm afraid that we've
discovered some limitations to your powers...
Daniel: What are they?
Gotens(reads the padd):
Well, it turns out that you really don't have any magical powers at all.
The whole thing was a big prank that was set up by the crew, using holograms
and computer animation.
Daniel: Really?
Gotens(reads the padd):
Oh, sorry, this is Crewmen Parker's report.
(He walks over to Crewmen
Parker on the other bed)
Gotens: Look Peter, you're
not really Spiderman.
Parker: But I am! I am!!
I can stick to walls!!
Gotens: No. That was just
a camera trick.
Parker(massages his temple):
Humm.... my Spidey senses are picking up a great evil...
Daniel: --Commander! Where
have you been the past hour!? I have already accomplished omni potency and
you're still--as they say in England--lollygagging about!!
Gotens: Uh! I'll have you
know that I was at the gym with some Klingon friends, practicing fighting
skills. --If it's any of your business.
(Daniel makes a hand appear
out of thin air and slap Gotens in the face)
Daniel: It is my business!
You are supposed to be on the Bridge dealing with the alien vessel that
we've encountered.
(Pause)
Gotens: Uh. I hardly think
Starfleet's interested in things like that.
(The alien is on screen on
the Bridge)
*Klokian: Klokian have unimaginable
technology to share with Human if Human want.
Armond(playing Tetris on
a gameboy): Huh? Oh man! You just made me mess up!
(Sickbay)
Daniel: That's it!! I've
had enough of your laziness!! I'm demoting you! Take off one of your pins.
Gotens: Oh man. Can't someone
else do it?
Daniel: I'm demoting you
right now and nothing--absolutely nothing is going to inturrup---
(A voice suddenly echos
throughout the ship)
*Sonan: <<DANIEL X!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! X!! SHOW YOUR PUNY SELF, X!! Why do you hide in such a puny ship!? Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!!--(cough)--(cough)--oh jeez, I just swallowed a puny rock>>
(A huge monster guy floats
outside in space, in front of the ship. Daniel flashes outside and floats
infront of him)
Daniel: Who are you?
Sonan: I am Sonan and I
come to challenge you to prove my strength to my nagging wife and macho
buddies!
Daniel: What are you?
Sonan: I'm a macho man.
--Macho, macho man. I want to be a macho man...
(Sickbay)
Gotens: Oh man, I'm going
to be demoted. Why aren't you ever demoted? You never do anything.
Shane(shrugs): I dunno.
(Gotens turns around and
bumps into a 4 foot alien creature)
Klokian(holding the metallic
sperical chamber that X came from): Oh no! Klokian want use this to capture
Q creature outside. But this broken!
Gotens: Oh man. Who could've
done such a thing?
Shane(hides his hand behind
his back which is still shapeshifted as a latch): I dunno, but I'll find
them.
Klokian(starts walking away):
Klokian gonna have to take this back to Welding Chamber in castle.
Gotens(runs up to him):
Wait! Take me with you! It'll be my last away mission before I get demoted.
Besides, Starfleet owns that thing and you need my permission to use it.
Klokian: Klokian care not
of your permission.
Gotens: Very well. You have
my permission to use it.
(The two leave sickbay)
Shane: Lox, what do you
make of that little guy?
Lox: Dammit Shane! I'm a
Doctor, not a distinguisher!!
(Daniel and Sonan float in
space as the Phoenix-X watches)
Daniel: You have Q powers
too, don't you? News about my powers travel fast in the Q world.
Sonan: I heard about it
in the Q chat room. Now! Prepare yourself for battle before I destroy your
vessel!!
Daniel(cracks his neck):
Okay.
(Daniel zooms up and uppercuts
Sonan through the chin. Sonan goes flying back)
Sonan: Argh!!
(Sonan zooms over and flows him with punches left and right. Klokian's small ship powers up and takes off between them. Klokian's ship stretches and disappears in a flash. It flashes back in again above Earth and takes orbit.)
(Klokian's bridge)
Gotens(looks out the window):
What are we doing here?
Klokian: This where welding
chamber is. In Castle Graymore.
(A person suddenly appears
behind them)
Aries: I knew you'd be back.
Gotens: But you don't even
know me.
Aries: I'm talking to the
short guy!
Gotens: Oh.
Aries(snaps his finger):
This is just a little gift I want you to take back to your Castle.
(Aries disappears. The ship
rumbles and takes a nose dive towards Earth. It passes through the clouds,
through the sky and slams into the ground, still in one piece. They climb
out of the ship and stand in the grassy field of the nice day.)
Gotens: You alright?
Klokian: Klokian never get
bruised.
Gotens: Who was that guy?
Klokian: That guy, sub-Q.
Have only small fraction of Q power.
Gotens: Where are we? I'll
call for a transport.
(He taps his commbadge but
gets no response)
Klokian: This place Greece.
(Daniel and Sonan battle
it out in front of the Phoenix-X)
Ensign Dan(sitting in the
Captian's chair watching and eating popcorn): Wow, this is great. Go Sonan!
Armond: Ensign, you are
relieved.
(Daniel and Sonan are breathing
heavily from exhaustion)
Daniel(punches him a couple
times): There....had....enough...!!?
Sonan(jabs his foot into
Daniel's side): Hiya! ....Owe my back...
Daniel(just floats there):
Isn't there another way to fight? You know, a special Q way?
Sonan(gets an idea): Power
charge!
(He puts his hands in front
of him and blasts a chaotic beam of energy at Daniel. Daniel does the same
thing back and the two beams of energy meet in the middle. It goes back
and forth, fighting for domination)
Sonan: Arrghh!
(Klokian and Gotens walk
the field for hours)
Gotens: Yo I'm getting kinda
tired. You're pretty bulk; can I sit on your shoulders?
Klokian(points in the direction
ahead): Castle Graymore ahead.
(Two people with a horse
approach them and join them in thier walk)
Gotens: Who are you and
why are you two dressed in second century B.C. clothing?
Xena: This is my armour.
Why are you dressed in your pajamas?
Gotens: Oh my gosh. You
can tell I sleep in this?
Gabrielle: Klokian, we have
to warn you about Artimus' army. We heard they are on sudden alert and
will kill you or anyone who looks like you on site.
Gotens: Word travels fast
in the land.
Artimus: --Yeah and so do
we. ...Xena...
(They are suddenly surrounded
by Artimus, the warlord, and ten soldiers of his army)
Gotens: Hey! Everyone's
here! Yayyy.
Gabrielle: If you can fight,
fight. Otherwise, stand back.
Artimus: ATTACK!!
Xena(pulls out her sword):
Be nice.
(Xena hacks her sword accross
an attacking soldier. She runs, jumpflips over five soldiers, lands infront
of Artimus and holds her sword up to his neck.)
Xena: Who sent you!?
(Gotens, Klokian and Gabrielle
fight off the soldiers)
Artimus: Ack--!
Xena(pushes the sword more
into his neck): Talk!!
Artimus: Talk to yourself.
Xena(jabs two fingers into
a pulse on each side of his neck): I've just cut off the flow of blood
to your brain. You'll be dead in 59 seconds unless you tell me who sent
you.
Artimus(on his knees as
blood drips from his nose): ...Ugh... Aries...
(Daniel and Sanon continue
to push thier energy beams back and forth)
Daniel(drops the energy
beam): Argh. This is going nowhere. A Q can't kill another Q.
Sonan: Sure they can.
Daniel: I don't even have
to fight. I can just snap my fingers and you'll be beaten.
(He snaps his fingers. The
setting of stars behind them are re-arranged.)
Daniel: Oops.
Sonan: Ha! Ha! Ha! You don't
even know how to use your power!
Daniel: I do so. Watch me
make a bowl of ice cream appear.
(He snaps and a bowl of
grapes appear)
Sonan: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!
Daniel: Arrgghhh.
Sonan: You are just not
snapping at the right frequency.
(Daniel snaps again and the
two find themselves on a dusty road on some land)
Daniel: Where are we?
Sonan(looks around): Oh
no! What have you done!? You brought us to the Q-Continuim!!
Daniel: Cool.
(Gotens, Klokian, Xena, Gabrielle
and the horse approach the doors of the city that surrounds Castle Graymore)
Gotens: You brought us back
in time!?!?
Klokian: Yes.
(They walk into the town.)
Gabrielle: I hope Jocser
isn't here--
Jocser(walks up to them):
Hey!! Gabby, Xena! What's goin' on!
(They pass through the market
place)
Klokian: To hide from Q,
you must not only go to far off place, but also far off time. Q not think
to look here.
Gotens: But why would you
hide from the Q?
Klokian: To build weapons.
To eliminate all Q.
Xena: You're a rogue hunter?
(Klokian nods as another
creature that looks just like him walks up to him and takes the metallic
sphere)
Klokian: Fix this.
(The other creature nods
in acknoledgement and runs off)
Klokian: Klokian make flash
machine from killing one Q and diverting power to machine.
Gotens: Way to be a hypocrite.
(Klokian walks over to a
food stand. Another creature like him is standing behind it)
Klokian: Klokian need travel
now.
(The creature nods and lets
Klokian stand behind the food stand. The other creature comes back with
the sphere and gives to to Klokian.)
Klokian: Klokian get Q now.
(He presses a bunch of buttons
on a hidden computer and disappears in a flash.)
Gotens: Hey! Wait for me!!
(Gotens is about to use
the machine too but more of those creatures come and fight him off)
Gotens: Hey!!
Xena(takes out her sword):
Aaahh!!! Little muchkins! Cover your shins and knee caps!!
(More and more Klokian's
approach. They fight off the humanoids until they're out of the city. Meanwhile,
Daniel and Sonan are standing in the dusty road when suddenly a whole bunch
of police cars pull up to them)
Q: Alright, stay right there!
Sonan: Aahh!!
Daniel: Oh so that's what
you're afriad of. The Q's, eh.
Sonan: Aahh!!
Q(points to Sonan): He's
not one of us. He's a creation from our enemies.
Sonan(picks up some sand
and throws it in Q's face): Aha!
Q(is blinded): Aahh!!
(Sonan snaps his fingers.
Daniel and Sonan appear back in space in front of the Phoeinx-X)
Daniel: Hey!
Sonan: Let's fight again!!
(Klokian appears in a flash
on the outter hull of the Phoeinx-X. A Q appears on the bridge)
Armond: Hey! Who are you?
Q: I am the 17th letter
of the alphabet. And that Klokian is on your ship.
Armond: Can't you stop him!?
Q: No way. I can't even
touch a Klokian without getting the Q disease! I just came here to see
what he is doing with our chamber.
(Kokian crawls to the nose
of the Phoeinx-X, where Daniel has his back to.)
Daniel: Look, Sonan. You've
got some issues...
(Klokian presses some buttons
on the metalic sphere. The sphere lights up and he points it to Daniel.
Daniel starts getting sucked in)
Daniel: ...and I don't want
to get sucked into your problems, so I'll---aaahhhh!!
(He is sucked into the shpere)
Sonan(complains): Finally!
I almost got caught by the Q!
Klokian: We go to Klokian
homeplanet now. Good work, Sonan.
(Sonan nods. Klokian leaps
off the Phoenix-X to Sonan's shoulder. They fly off. Back on Earth, the
Klokians slam the city doors in the humanoid's faces)
Jocser: That was rude.
Xena: Come on, let's go.
We don't have to stop Artimus' army for these things.
Gotens: Wait! You gotta
get me to Klokian's ship on the other side of the countryside so I can
go home!!
Gabrielle: Why should we
help you?
(Pause)
Gotens: ...Cause I'm lovable?
Xena: Artimus' entire army
should be heading this way soon. They stand between here and the Klokian
thing. This pajama guy wouldn't stand a chance.
Gotens: Oh thanks.
(Xena, Gabrielle, the horse, Jocser and the Commander start walking. Armond looks over at Q on the bridge of the Phoeinx-X)
Armond: We have to do something!!
They have the Captian!
Q: Well it's not like I
can just snap my fingers and make everything okay for you.
(He snaps his fingers and
a bowl of ice cream appears. Ensign Dan takes it and eats it)
Q: I will not risk my life
by chasing a rogue hunter. They chase us. That's why they are called the
hunters.
Armond: Why do they want
the Captian?
Q(shrugs): I told you, they
chase Q's to kill them. Your Captian was the closest thing to a Q.
Shane(enters the bridge):
Hey guys, what'd I miss?
[to be continued...]
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